The woes of a Pranksters mother
by PoppyPotter
Summary: A lighthearted one shot of James Potters' mum receiving letters about her sons antics each year. Featuring a lenient Mr Potter, a frustrated Mrs Potter and tales of James Potters pranking ways.


**The Woes of a Pranksters mother**

* * *

**I**

* * *

The door swung open with a thud and Mr Potter looked up to see his wife, red faced and furious.

"Not even two days and _your _son has managed to cause havoc!"

Mr Potter looked up from his newspaper, a look of faint interest on his face.

"Look at this" she waved the creased letter in front of him; "He's flooded the sixth year dorms,_ flooded them!_"

Mr Potter raised an eyebrow, an amused glint in his eyes; "Did he, _truly?" _He couldn't help the smile threatening to come out.

Mrs Potter growled; "yes,_ truly_ and it's all your fault!"

"_Mine?_ How in Merlins name did you work that out?" he asked incredulously.

"Oh, I don't know" she threw up her hands; "How about the fact that you have never, _not once _tried to control him or the fact that no matter how much_ I_ have tried to teach him to act like a decent human being you" she pointed a thin finger at him; "make him think it's ok to act like a bloody hooligan"

Mr Potter sighed; "He's young Grace, only eleven; he'll learn"

"_He'll learn_ when you decide to teach him"

"I taught him how to fly, didn't I?" He cried in outrage but this apparently was not the right thing to say and Mr Potter was rewarded with a harsh glare before his wife grabbed a piece of parchment off his desk and pulled out her wand.

He watched her with dawning comprehension and horror and decided for the sake of his son it was his duty to intervene; "Not… not a _howler _Grace?" he squirmed under the look she gave him but nevertheless walked towards her- _he was a Gryffindor after all_. "I mean, yes I agree he shouldn't have done it, it's not…not even funny…_right?_ But let _me_ write to him" he pleaded; "I'll be stern I promise, I'll…"

"You, Henry, will _never _be stern with that boy." She accused and Mr Potter was inclined to agree with this statement.

"Well, then_ you_ write but don't, don't publically humiliate him. _He's a Potter,_ for crying out loud!"

Mrs Potter rolled her eyes at her husband's antics; "A bit of public humiliation is exactly what that boy needs" and with that she put her wand to her throat, ignoring her husband besides her wincing at her words.

* * *

**II**

* * *

"Can you believe what your son has done?" Mrs Potter entered her husband's study with, like many times before, a letter clutched in her hand.

Mr Potter was sat at his desk, his glasses at the end of his nose, a half smile on his lips and a letter of his own in his hand; "hmm?" he looked up absentmindedly at his red-faced wife.

"_Your son!"_ she fumed and Mr Evans only half listening turned back to his letter, his smile widening; "Well go on then, what terrible thing has he done now?"

"He turned the Slytherin Quidditch teams' hair _pink"_ his wife spoke through gritted teeth.

"Quite impressive magic for a twelve year old, don't you think?" he looked up and his wife narrowed her eyes; "_Impressive magic?_ He has detentions every Saturday for a month and all you say is _impressive magic?"_ her voice had slowly increased in volume and Mr Potter finally saw fit to look at her, a frown on his face.

"Well, it was quite ingenious. The way he and his friends snuck into the changing rooms, they altered the showers you know, to run pink dye. _Bloody brilliant. _It's a shame I never thought of it my day" he sighed wistfully and Mrs Potter became, if possible, even redder.

"You mean…you mean…he did all that and then wrote to you about it, _you,_ his father and you sat here smiling?" She stuttered but it was futile her husband's attention was back to the letter, his head shaking in awe of his son; "Scored five goals in the match too, did you know that?" he asked; "my boy scored five goals" he beamed and excitedly resumed reading.

Mrs Potter was left shaking her own head in exasperation, frustration and confusion.

* * *

**III**

* * *

"_And he got a date to Hogsmeade. And he got a date to Hogsmeade. My son got a date to Hogsmeade…"_

Mr Potter was currently singing and half dancing in his study, celebrating his sons' first successful attempt at asking a girl out; "_And he got a date to Hogsmeade!"_

His wife however was not sharing his jubilance, her arms instead of raised in the air, were tightly folded, a letter scrunched in her hand; "Did you happen to read the bit where he said he _couldn't go_ because he was in detention?" She asked, before rubbing her head at her husbands renewed vigour in singing_; "My son got a date to Hogsmeade!"_

"_A date he can't go to!"_

"But that's not the point!"

"Then _what is_ the point?"

"The point is he asked a girl out and she said yes!"

"_But he's in a detention!_ Again and this time for goodness knows what."

"Irrelevant"

"It is highly relevant!"

"It is not" Mr Evans now had two arms and one leg raised in his celebratory dance.

"You son is acting like an ill-mannered spoilt brat, I would say that is relevant"

"_My_ son, eh? Well he is, isn't he? Good looks, charm, girls falling for him…t_here's no you in the boy_"

"And _that_ is the problem; you have spoilt him and now he…"

"_Has a date to Hogsmeade! Has a date to Hogsmeade!"_

Praying to God for patience, Mrs Potter breathed deeply before calling for her house elf; it seemed a cup of tea was in order.

* * *

**IV**

* * *

Mr Potter watched his wife in concern; Mrs Potter had a hand to her mouth her eyes flitting across the parchment in front of her.

Her hand seemed to be shaking; "Well, what is it?"

The letter had been from Minerva, not only a Professor at Hogwarts but Graces close friend who often kept them updated about their sons adventures or as his wife called them, misdemeanours.

"He…he" her voice cracked and she cleared her throat; "He uh had to visit the hospital wing"

Mr Potter jumped up; "What? Is he ok? Is he hurt? Well of course he's hurt if he's in there. Is it bad? What happened? Did someone hurt him?"

His wife watched him with wide eyes before slowly lowering her hands and biting her lip. She felt like a terrible mother and yet…she couldn't help it, the giggle she had been trying hard to suppress leaked out followed by more slightly hysterical laughter.

"_Are you bloody mad? My son is in hospital and you're laughing?"_

Mrs Potter had the grace to look ashamed but couldn't stop her lip twitching or the twinkle in her eye; "It was that girl, the red headed one he talks so much about, Lily" she shook her head; "according to Minerva he asked her out a total of three times during the lesson and transfigured her book into flowers, something she didn't appreciate. It was after he tried to follow her down the corridor that she well, punched him"

Mr Potter looked appalled; "_That girl! _The nerve of her, just you wait until I get my hands on…"

"I rather think he deserved it" her voice was quiet but Mr Potter heard his wife's treacherous words clearly.

"Deserved it? _What type of mother are you?"_ He had frozen, his eyes wide at her apparent betrayal and yet Mrs Potter was unfazed.

"A one not blinded by love. From what I've heard from Remus and Minerva he hasn't stopped harassing the girl all year" she shook her head slowly; "he deserves to be taught a lesson…he's used to getting whatever he wants" she paused; "courtesy of you, of course"

Mr Potter did not talk to his wife for the next week.

* * *

**V**

* * *

"Henry! _Henry!" _Mr Potter was woken from his nap with a jerk, his wife stood in front of him, pale faced and shaking. She thrust a letter into his hand and began pacing; alarmed and confused Mr Potter reached for his glasses and began reading.

"Some student, some stupid Slytherin was out of bounds, near the forest and well, I don't know he got into some trouble and James was out of bounds too" Mrs Potter tone turned icy and she glared at her husband as though their sons bad behaviour was entirely his fault; "and the stupid boy went to help" she hiccupped; "I don't know what happened but he's hurt Henry, Minerva says he'll be fine but…" she paused and Mr Potter walked towards her, sighing and pulling her towards him. Mrs Potter however, stepped back; _"This is entirely your fault! _You've never told him anything and now he thinks being out past midnight is perfectly acceptable, _well it's not!"_

Mr Potter rolled his eyes; "He needs to live Grace, have adventures, make mistakes" he looked down at the letter in his hands; "I'm actually quite proud of him and you should be too"

"Proud? _Are you mad?"_

Mr Potter shook his head at his wife, a small smile on his lips; "You know how he is about Slytherins but he risked his own life to help one, of course I'm proud of him"

Mrs Potter wiped her eyes and sighed; "Bloody Gryffindors" she muttered and Mr Potter chuckled; "Let's go see our son, shall we?"

* * *

**VI**

* * *

The Potters were sitting in their library when the owl came. Mr Potter merely looked up from his newspaper, whilst Mrs Potter sighed and put down her book; "Want to guess what he's done now?" she asked and he chuckled; "Blown up the Charms corridor?"

"Did that two years ago" she said wryly as she opened the letter.

"Ah yes, a month's detention was it?"

"Two actually" she said before turning towards the piece of parchment in hand.

Mr Potter nodded and turned back to his newspaper, waiting for his wife's usual cry of outrage. When it didn't come however he looked up to see Grace staring at the letter, a frown on her face.

"So what does Minerva say? What's the latest prank?"

His wife gulped; "There…there isn't one"

Now that was hard to believe; _"What?" _

"There isn't one. I mean, well, uh" she cleared her throat; "there's been some small ones but according to Minerva they were all to people who deserved it…"

Mr Potter raised an eyebrow; the idea that Minerva McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor house thought students deserved to be pranked was, frankly bizarre.

"They were students who think Voldermorts got the right idea…" she explained before frowning back at the letter; "He's tutoringHenry, tutoring" Her voice sounded strangely strangled and frowning Mr Potter reached for the letter in her hand; "tutoring?_ Our James?"_

The idea that James Potter, mastermind prankster and Quidditch superstar, James Potter _his son_ was actually using his free time to help other students was hard to believe. He knew his son and he knew he was noble and brave and kind but he also knew for James Potter free time was used to cause as much damage as possible and yet… _there it was_ in Minerva's handwriting; his son was tutoring and _by choice._

He shook his head as though to make sense of this strange development before sitting down; "Well…he was bound to grow up sometime" he said finally, unsure of how he felt of the fact that his son was now maturing.

"Never thought I'd see the day" said Mrs Potter weakly and Mr Potter was forced to laugh; who would have thought it; the boy who dyed unsuspecting victims hair pink, who had flooded the sixth year dorms on his second day was now a sixth year student and apparently, quite grown up too.

* * *

**VII**

* * *

"Is that a letter from James?" Mr Potter asked seeing his wife smugly look down at a letter in her hand.

"Hmm? Oh yes" she looked back down, her smile widening.

"Well, give it here then"

"No"

"What do you mean _no_?"

"I mean, this letter was written by my son to me and me alone"

Mr Potter scoffed; _as if James would write to his mother only._

"Ha ha, very funny, now hand it over. I want to see what my sons been up to."

"Well, you can't. He specifically told me to not show this letter to anyone, including you" She gave him another smug look and Mr Potter scowled; "Quit the drama Grace. I'm the favourite parent in this house so I don't see why…"

"_Favourite parent?" _Mrs Potter gave a loud laugh; "James is a mummy's boy as this letter clearly demonstrates"

Mr Potter rolled his eyes; "He's written private letters to me every year since he started Hogwarts and this is your first. I think_ that_ tells it all"

"How do you know he hasn't sent me any other letters?" Smirked Mrs Potter, but Mr Potter merely shook his head, lifting his head up in what he supposed was a dignified and superior pose.

They sat in silence for the next five minutes, Mrs Potter examining her letter and Mr Potter watching her examining her letter until finally; "Are you done now? Can I read it?"

Mrs Potter chuckled; "I've told you dear, he doesn't want you to read it. Now, where's Daisy? I'll be needing her help." She stood up, ignored her glowering husband and went in search for her house elf, excitement bubbling.

It was half past five when Mr Potter finally found his wife in their bedroom, after an hour of trudging around their large house in search of her. Mrs Potter had tied a small box to an owl and was currently putting a series of protective charms around it, all in all her actions seemed rather suspicious to Mr Potter.

"What's all that for?"

Mrs Potter jumped; "Merlin Henry, you gave me a shock"

"_Well?"_

"Well, what?"

"What is that?" he pointed to the owl.

"_That_ is Perseus"

He growled; "I mean what is in that box"

Mrs Potter waved a hand; "Oh don't worry yourself about it dear, it's just something James needed" the smug smile returned and Mr Evans harrumphed before leaving the room; he would be talking to James when he came home, what was the boy thinking; _going to his mother for help and not him!_ He scowled to himself, trying to squash the immense feeling of jealousy within him; he would teach that boy a lesson!

It was two weeks before Perseus returned and when he did Mrs Potter had rushed up to greet him, putting a large bowl of treats in front of him and ripping into her letter. Mr Potter had kept silent throughout this all, determined not to let his wife show how much her and their sons' private correspondence was affecting him.

"_Oh my!"_ Exclaimed Mrs Potter

Mr Potter focused on opening a chocolate frog.

"Oh I am _so_ excited! Henry dear, this is just wonderful!"

Mr Potter bit the head of his chocolate frog.

Mrs Potter looked up; "Well, don't you want to know what it says?"

Mr Potter chewed his chocolate frog.

"_He's getting married Henry!"_

The chocolate came flying out of Mr Potters mouth; "_HE'S WHAT?"_

Mrs Potter wrinkled her nose; "Do have better manners dear" she said before breaking out into a smile; "He proposed to Lily, he asked me for the ring the other day and well, here you read it" she passed him the letter; "he did it by the lake, isn't it wonderful?"

She got up and clapped her hands together in excitement; "Oh I wonder when they'll want it, this summer's too short notice. Perhaps winter? Or maybe they should wait for next year yes, the blossoms look wonderful around…"

"_He's getting married to the girl who put him in the hospital wing?"_

"That was years ago" She waved his comment away; "Really dear they've moved on, I rather think you should too!"

"She punched my son, _punched him_!"

"And he deserved it. Now, don't be acting the spoilsport; your son is happy and you will be happy for him"

Mr Potter glowered at his wife; "And why is it he told you about it and not me?"

Mrs Potter rolled his eyes; "because he knows you dear. You would have over-reacted much like you are now" she gave him a stern look but Mr Evans by now too offended by his sons behaviour merely stormed out the room.

When the Marauders and Lily came home three weeks later, Mr Potter did not talk to any of them. He blamed Sirius, Remus and Peter for his sons' insanity and had taken his sons decision not to confide in him as a personal slight that he was not willing to forget. Lily Evans he soon realised, was a funny and vivacious young girl but though he enjoyed her company he never spoke to her either; she did after all, once punch his much loved son.

Mrs Potter found the whole situation rather funny but by the end of the first week decided to have a word with her moody and morose husband. She had had James when she was quite old and he had been, in perfect honesty, a terror due to his father's leniency; he had been hyper and a prankster but she loved him and now he was getting married. That thought in itself made her heart ache, her baby boy was grown up; _who would she now shout at? Beg to behave? Tell to grow up?_

It only took her one sight of her pouting husband to realise that even if her son had grown up, she would always have one child in the house that would never grow up.

* * *

**Hi! This was written for the final round in _thegoodgirldoll's_ A character a Week competition, the prompt was frustration and we had to choose a parent as our character. I had a really tough week last week with my mum being in hospital so I really enjoyed writing something lighthearted; I can imagine James being spoiled by his dad and getting away with murder and his mum trying to desperately control him. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! Please review :D**


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